It has been an interesting morning it is going to be very cold this coming overnight.
how Are you today? I am concerned a bit that we are surrounded by something that is sort of sitting there like its in the air. I woke up surrounded by a weird but not unfamiliar sense of what wanted to feel like overwhelming sadness today. I say not unfamiliar because I have seen this presence affect others that I grew up with and surrounding our family sometimes. It was here in the morning. I decided not to run away from it or try and work through or over it. Knowing that ignoring it would feed it as surely as grasping on to it. I was once again grateful that I do not have television and right now do not have to report to work as I think that would distract me from taking a true look at these things that I believe are so necessary for all of us to See to clearly see as Clear as possible so That we can make True Choices. It is important for me to remember that This Work this Blog is also Work and is Necessary to Our Lives. So when I looked at this Heavy Heavy Cloud I remembered that it was not me nor was it about me and that it was not for me to Fix. It actually didn't feel fixable which was part of what made it seem so Present! It was very important to remember that what is Available to be Felt in the world or ether or air around me is Not necessarily Me. Nor is it Of me.
 |
| Wicket, Marshal, Jingle Belle saying thank you |
So, I sought perspective outside of my own head for which I am grateful to the internet, the phone, and to all who are Available in This World. and through that careful but not dependent reaching. Found the thought that in my life there is Wax and Wane, Flush and Thin, Breath in Breath out. and it was really Interesting that yesterday was a day of Rest. like the Resting Beat of the Heart.
 |
| Mr Kitty always helping |
did you know that the Heart is a muscle that is filled passively? It sends out its push for the sustainment of life with great Action. Then it rests The Heart Rests before the Pressure and Weight of the Blood that is in Need of Re-oxygenation Returns to its source of impetus The Great Pump to be restored. It is the weight of the blood falling into the Chamber that fills the Heart. It is the vacuum or emptiness of that Chamber that allows the returning blood that is Not only Empty of Oxygen of Life but Carrying that trash that it drove from the Cells at Work that Trash that if it accumulated inside of us would poison us It is That Blood that pushes the walls of the Heart Open and then the Great Muscle empties the lungs which have restored the Blood by Driving that life forward into our arteries creating the Ever Present Commitment of the Lungs to Receive the trash, INhale the oxygen, Do the Work, let Go of the Trash, and uptake the Oxygen thus transforming our Heart back into the River of life the Taker of death back into our center of center, our heart of the Fire inside ourselves.
 |
| first meal cooked here going into the oven |
Yesterday for me was the Resting finally after the Trip this morning was the Waning the Trash day
the breathing in and out and letting the Restoration come passively as the Blood dumped all the trash into the lungs and the Transforming Cells of my life. I realized when speaking this morning with my soul friend that I had forgotten Once again about the Waning about the trash that accumulates and flows around All of us. As the Panda says, Wounds mean we were present during the Work, Scars are a sure Sign that wounds Heal, and Scars Fade if WE don't Pick at them. So Work = Trash, funny I fourgot about the Trash.
It was good to also remember that my Heart my Fire would endure it would sustain the Rim of my life Even without all of You here in body presence, in Laughter and in watching or sensing the movement of you just outside the edge or corner of my eyesight, your Presence here sustains me. It comforts me and reminds me that I have family that my Heart along with Your Heart matters. And that during that Resting Beat when the Floatsome and Jetsam float in closer to the Fire they are coming in to be cleansed to be released into that transformational place that we created with our work. that commitment of the Spirits to take care of us to Heal to watch over and to sustain us even as we sustain Their connection to This World. When I was at Lame Deer I met an Anishinabe Elder who told me the story of the great Spirit Eagle that comes in the Night to gather in its wings and feathers all the Debris of the Day from the Resting People. Then that Great Eagle flies up to through the Star Nation out the little hole in the Sky gourd to where Takucnascnan is (Creator). There the Eagle releases all the debris out of its wings and Creator cleanses the Eagle who has cleansed the People and very carefully not let any little bit slip or drop or fall onto an unsuspecting Star or Relative along the way.
There Creator looks at all the jewels that have been collected and returned and once again selects and places those "jewels" back amongst the People where they can do the most valuable thing. It is an old story that I was not brought up with. Old stories told late in life are best Heard but not Easily Remembered. I must Retrain myself Now in Remembering these new life giving Stories. So that I am not wasting my Life struggling with the floatsome and jetsam that is stirred up or the natural consequence of the Work of the Day. Like the Fire burning the Wood, it produces Heat and Light, and Warmth. But also Ash, and Gasses, and Vacuum sucking the Oxygen out of the Air. So our Work Relatives, Creates Debris. and what are we doing with that Debris? Think about it with me for a bit.
 |
| Jingle shows off the winter insulation bales |
Today I understand more clearly the balance of the wax and wane of the work here at the GMa house. It is more clear now that there is actual movement in the energy here. I think when I first came here there was so much to do, and I was still shedding the way of living that I was leaving behind. but there is a movement. There is a balance point between the in and out breath. it truly is the Center of the East and West Gate. I like now knowing that over Time I , We, Others will come to understand the depth of that Name and Place. It is a different life than I had all my life, even as short a time as last year. but I see that it is a life that is meant for Here. It's like the Spirits weaving our new Life Fabric from all over and it includes all of us Everyone all over and it is Steady and it has an In and Out, each brings either trash to be burned up or oxygen to also be burned up. funny isn't it? Same Fire, Same Mary, Same House, Same World, Same Day just different IN and Out. No Biggie
 |
| Ready for helping! |
I like it it gives more comfort when all of you are all so physically Far Away. When the Great Jetsam and Floatsome shows up I will now know that We, All of us, have Created Movement. I will do my best to cry a little if some of it gets in my Eye, and to Remember that that Cloud is a sign that the Wind is Blowing, that the People are Moving about and within. That the Great Heart is ready now to Refill, and it first Refills with the Non-Oxygenated so that it will drive out the Oxygenated to the Cells. and I will ask the Great Eagle to Come and Clean ever so Gently with its wings and Return to Takucnascnan what was and are the jewels that made today so precious.
 |
| lunch is ready apples, sausage, onion, and sauce |
I love you all
I appreciate you
I honor you
I respect you
Breath in Rest Breath out
All My Relations
mary
No comments:
Post a Comment