The Heart Was Made For Other Things: A Reflection on the practice of Heart Coherence

good Morning Relatives

 I want to offer a different perspective to the heart coherence idea.  There was no time at the gathering to discuss this idea fully either in private or public. Given that it was so beautifully outlined and emphasized in the fall issue of the Grandmothers Circle News, I thought that it would be timely to offer the mirror perspective to that practice.  I believe this might be valuable as well as informative to our sisters. I appreciate the balance and willingness of the Grandmothers Circle News in cultivating diverse community and perspective and I have mailed a copy of this blog in the form of an email to them and requested that it be published in the Winter issue.

Energetics are one of the ways that we as human beings communicate and listen, to our selves, and to each other. Energetics are a way of transferring intent to our environment and to each other. By Learning to feel, or gauge Energetics, we are able to determine the positivity, or negativity, of the intent of those with whom we interact on a daily basis as well as during times of ceremony.

I hate to be the one to say it, well actually I don’t hate to be the one, I am willing to be the one to say that not all who come to any gathering are of the same positive intent that I/we may be showing up with.  I don’t thing there is need to walk around like "I’m under attack," all the time, but suffice it to say that at every ceremony or gathering I have been at, there have been those who come to feed off of those who are there or may even have had a more destructive intention than just filling themselves up on someone else’s energetic giveaway.  It is a given that when a light shines things are attracted to that light.  There are predators in our world and for me pretending they are not there is just silly and a waste of time.

I have long been of the opinion that rather than pretend that this does not exist it is the responsibility of the leadership (i.e. those with more experience or training, or who are "in charge") to protect and guide those who attend, as they may be less aware of these entities and less than prepared to deflect, avoid, or negate them.

Even in a positive exchange, the movement or transfer of energetics can leave or create a feeling of euphoria, exhaustion, or fear depending on the circumstance.  These feelings, if created in a group or mass effect of human beings can be quite powerful.  They can also be quite misleading if not downright dangerous. One only has to bring to mind the people who died in Sedona a few years back to find a real-life example of the danger that is possible.  In Sedona there were charismatic leaders with a willingness to mislead others for energetic gain combined with individuals who as a group were willing to be misled for the chance to experience a spiritual phenomena.

The transfer of energetics whether willingly, naively, innocently or without awareness is something that can be mistaken as a sacred act. It is not that hard to manipulate a group of willing participants who have come to an event; to get away from their daily lives, or who have come seeking spiritual elevation, or who have come to find something that they still think is outside of themselves.  Elevating the energetics of willing participants can be done with group chant, song, recitation, meditation or voice over direction.

Even if it is a “Fake it till you make it” situation, that doesn’t mean that energetics are not being given and received.  On the contrary, if we elevate our openness and willingness and give away our energy,  even if we don't know what we are doing, someone or something is most likely going to take it.  Unfortunately for those of us who are faking it till we make it, the leaders of ceremonies like this will continue to drain us without ever teaching us to be ourselves truly until we have nothing left to give or we become succubus’s ourselves because we have an ah-ha moment where we learn we can snack on those who are all standing there pouring out their energy trying to connect by feeding the universe like it is not capable of feeding itself.  Trust me the Universe does not need you to sustain it, it is the other way around. 

Elevated energetics can be perceived and or described as coinciding with detailed phenomena which may in fact occur. People have visions, interact with Spirits, medicine comes in the dreamtime, in the practice of tai-chi or qigong after years finally, it clicks and then flows like magic.   But, I always remember what Dr Clarissa Pinkola Estes says, “ Interesting if true, but so what.”  Meaning so you saw some firecrackers or your past life, what are you going to do about you in this life? How are you going to use that insight in your daily life?

One of the ways that I was taught to recognize those who I could trust to go to ceremony with was in observing whether or not the phenomena was the end point to them, or, whether or not the work that was being done was to actually educate, heal, or strengthen the participant.  Sadly to say the education part, the application of practical magic, or tai-chi, or simple prayer, so to speak, to our daily lives was and continues to be sorely lacking at many of these events.  

The phenomena is not the point of any energetic exchange. Whether that exchange be between a person and the Spirits, or a person and another person.  The point is to come face to face with the you, you have created so far, and decide if you are going to continue with her or not. If not, then the ceremonial leader should be able to follow up the event with perspective that helps YOU find YOUR PATH.  Any ceremonial leader should be available for you to ask questions of the day after or perhaps after you have gone home and thought about yourself.  We are accessible.  It's one of the rules.  However we / I am not available for you to follow around and worship. If you need something ask, but ask because you are working on working you out, not because you perceive them, or me, as the mouth of god dripping with honey. Yuck.  See what I mean? double yuck. 

For example: I am happy to help bring ceremony and real time connection for the grandmothers to the gathering.  I am aware that the Spirits show up, and that there is an exchange between the grandmothers individually and the Spirits and I am glad to be able to help that happen.  But, it does not make me more than or better than anyone else. I am just someone whose path lay in that work.  so, If you come back to grandmothers because you think I will be there and you can have another spiritual bang, I will probably be at the beach or in New York catching a show.  If you come back because you used the giveaway to grow and to blossom and you want to share the new beauty way that is you, well, I’ll be all ears and the first to honor you for your love of you and the medicine that was given by the Spirits and all the hard work you put it to in your life.  That is the phenomena for me. Awesomeness!

so, on to the fantasy of energy and coherence.

Any one among us who has “fallen in love” only to find out that our hormones, our passions, our libido, or simply what we ate for breakfast has given us a rush of fantasy or projection about ourselves or another person and our relationship to them as being exactly what we have been looking for all our lives; (gasp, take a breath and sigh)  only to find when we try to recreate that phenomena in our daily lives, that neither of us are who or where we thought we were or are; can understand the enormity of how wrong we can be about phenomena, energetic exchanges, and about how powerful it can be and that we are not in love at all but caught in something else. Something that can be quite dangerous.

Remember in Harry Potter the most dangerous potion in potions class was the love potion.  

 In the practice of the traditional medicine way, in which I have trained and continue to practice, it is strictly forbidden to step into the role of doing the work of the Spirits.  Each person who is in ceremony may be there in a circle, but each person has an individual interaction with the Spirits that is their business, not mine and not anyone else’s in the ceremony.  The “rim”:the pipes, the patterns, the directions, the medicine herbs, the songs or rituals of the ceremony, the people and animals who are gathered, the fire, the prayer tyes; are a dance of invitation and agreements between the intercessor and the Spirits so that there are rules and also consequences of stepping outside those rules if either the intercessor or the Spirits decide to use the willingness of the ceremonial participants to their own advantage.  This agreement on both sides is imperative for the safety of the participants.

During these times of energetic exchange between the individuals gathered and the Spirits, I may be present, I may be the intercessor,  but I am not a part of or connected to that exchange between each person and the Spirits.  I'm helping, I'm holding but I am not grasping or owning.  It’s complicated and takes years to understand and years to learn how not to be harmed let alone not harm anyone else and to let the Spirits do their work as they can.

Believe it or not Relatives, we can and do prevent them from giving all that they can. Thankfully the Spirits know exactly what my intention is and while I have been spanked soundly for being ignorant, not paying attention, or not being mindful, they know clearly that I have never ever ever wanted to use or have any personal gain from standing in that space.  

whe-ew  it is scary even thinking about that. As Grandmother Margaret says, our way is not an easy way.  

True Spiritual medicine or work does not happen because we have purposefully tried to cohere our hearts into one energetic mass effect.  Believe me the Spirits are fully capable of bringing all the needed energy to any event. We on the other hand, are already in alignment because we showed up and are standing together.  That is all it takes.  The medicine is not that complicated and it does not need for us to compromise ourselves or merge with another in order for it to work;i.e. have an effect on us or the world around us.  The Spirits are not one being, but they and we are all, One Being.  It is complicated to put into words but not to see.

It is more important that we be who we are individually, together, than to create an energetic connection that involves our hearts. That medicine of connectivity is happening all the time. It is not through our hearts that we connect to it.  Our gathering is to share our diversity, our nuance, our beauty, not to be gently trained to give our energy through repetition and practice to someone else's agenda or control.  The circle is not about being one or being the same. The circle is about individuals holding principles and agreements so that they through a predefined practice are able to be fully themselves as individuals.  That is the circle.

It is our singularity shining forth, yet held in closeness by standing with each other, that makes the great light of our gathering illuminating.  Linking our hearts, trying to put us all on the same wavelength, in fact for me makes coming together a vulnerable and dangerous activity.  Years ago when i was exposed to this group heart cohering, it felt wrong to me. I felt like I was being herded or trained to be something that was headed for a cliff.  There is a way to connect without this herding business. I will explain more about this in a moment.  Bear with me this is an important concept and is complex.

Spiritual medicine happens because the Spirits choose to show up. They are in charge. Not someone with a vision leading us through an energetic exercise that is designed to wow or shock and awe.  Every ceremony that I have led came from the culmination in the immediate moment of understanding, requests, lessons taught and visions discussed with elders after the ceremony was requested.  It comes from those who requested it and are gathered to receive it and deliver it. It is built as the medicine gathers itself specifically for that time place and all the participants.  For me there is very little "ritual" or pattern but there is always principle and listening and following with careful strict boundaries what the Spirits involved request.  Afterwards it is fully discussable and I am very willing to do so with any who were at the ceremony.  Confidentiality is one of the parts of ceremony.  Remember that the medicine of one event is connected to all the events of that gathering.  Ceremony works because those who are present are willing, not to be what we are not, but because we show up as who we are. The energy that is brought to a ceremony is brought by the Spirits and bound by the agreements made by the process  it is not generated by those who gather there.

Hooking up a bunch of old lady batteries to a spiritual display and creating an ah-ha moment that dazzles and distracts and fails to educate or teach something for daily life is not what the energy of your or my heart is made for.  We become what we practice and what may start out as a feel good ritual that is apparently innocent may be training us to participate in something that is much more serious and not necessarily in our best interest. the best example of that was the koolaid drinkers in Jonestown. Those spiritual seekers did not all of the sudden one day do the things they did.  They were led there by those who trained them in their innocence long before they moved to Guyana.  I'm not saying that the grandmothers are planning on serving koolaid but the point is that messing with the heart and what you or I or we connect to it can harm us and it begins with something that is small and not questioned.  it is lemmings headed for a cliff, or not?  my point in all of this is unless those who are asking you to do something are also giving you the chance the strength the opportunity and supporting your right to question and understand what they are asking you to do, then why are you doing it?  HMMMMMMM?

Frankly I wouldn’t want anyone to stand in circle with me and be expected to entertain or hold or bear what I might be ready to and I definitely don’t want to go through your stuff either. No offense but its just not a good idea. Why does all this matter to say?  Because, words matter, intention matters, because they are medicine and we don’t swallow medicine that we do not know fully or as close to fully what it will do to us and or what it will take from us. Words  matter.  It also matters because playing with fire will get you or me or some of us who are the most innocent burned.  We don't play with fire. 

  Not everyone, in fact very few of us have the same vibration or energetics at any given time.  One of the beauty ways of the circle practice is that even when we think we are all in agreement and have the same intention, we see that we are very diverse in our perspective and application of that intention.

The energies of our intention are align-able its true.  It can be done.   The mechanical, mental, or emotional alignment of group energies is one way that some people use to achieve what is felt or illuminated as a higher plane, a higher consciousness, or an esoteric happening.

Some people use the energies of others to create phenomena to try and gain something for themselves, or to create a group experience that is powerful.  But the creation of a group experience is not necessarily the same thing as a safe environment or helpful experience for those who are in attendance.

Giving your energy so that someone else becomes something from it is not your responsibility and will not bring positivity into your life even if it makes you feel different or whoo hooey for a little while. We are not responsible for each others spiritual successes, but we can be a participant in misleading them or ourselves if we proceed in ignorance or with negative intention.

 It has been my experience that those who manipulate the energies of others for their own purpose (even if they think it is for world peace) either do not really know what they are doing, or they are only interested in how it makes them feel afterwards and don't really care what it might do to you in the process. As long as there have been exchanges between our temporal bodies and our celestial selves there have been those who think differently about how and when and why that exchange is valuable or useful.

Trust me I have gone up to the "spiritual leader" the morning after one of these group ceremonial coherence grandmother events and asked her point blank about what she was doing. I asked her if she could see the dimensionality of the patterns and what they were really for.  I asked if she actually saw it or understood it, and how she intended to teach the grandmothers that were exposed to it how it might affect them later.  I asked her what life teaching came from what she used them to create or reveal.

The reply I got was that it was not her problem how it affected the participants. She didn't understand what it meant and she said it was not her responsibility to understand. She stated that she felt no responsibility to educate them or teach them, she didn't care if she didn't understand the depth and use of the pattern she only cared that she was successful in using the grandmothers to open it; and wait for it.... (this is the big holy crap eye awakener for me)  she was now (thanx to all the energy she just helped herself to and manipulated that was freely and I believe ignorantly given by the grandmothers who participated) some sort of spiritual creation chief of rainbow energies and she had better things to do than think about the daily lives of grandmothers or how what she wanted to do would affect them.

yeah  I kid you not that is what she told me    not a great followup to ceremony huh grandmothers ?

I guarantee you that none of the Spirits of Creation or otherwise are uninterested in our individual health, well being, and understanding.  At least not the ones I hang out with.  Whew, After that gathering I felt like I had been witness to a great spiritual tragedy.  the next year when it came time to send in an application I sent mine with a list of questions for the leaders with concerns about ceremonial impact and followup. It was the third year that I had asked them if they would consider putting together a spiritual council of women from different faiths and tribes who were spiritual leaders to be part of the planning and care for the grandmothers.  It seemed to me, after attending for three years that they were determined to make ceremony and spiritual encounter and energy exchange a big part of their agenda and I thought it would be a good idea to have some elders help over see that and be available to the grandmothers. Kind of a balance and oversight committee.  I received no reply to my questions or suggestions.  I waited and then sent another questioning email to see what was going on, it voiced my concerns and the wall of fear that I encountered in the ether every time I sat down to write out my check to attend.  What I received in the mail was a letter from the planning committee of that gathering formally disinviting both myself and Grandmother Margaret from ever attending.  It was written by the leaders of that gathering, they clearly expressed that they preferred I never come back to that gathering.  Something to do with asking too many questions. 

One of the Traditional Spiritual Teachers that I have has said that any ceremonial leader should be able to sit down and quietly and thoroughly answer questions from another ceremonial leader about what they are doing.
In other words if you cannot sit in front of the most innocent and speak clearly about who you are and what you are about and have clear and repeatable answers for those who ask then are you someone who is safe?

 We are not gods even though we are God. We do not use each other to create or destroy.  We are on this physical plane, we are removed from some of what we as eternal beings are capable of when we are stars, so that we may understand compassion and thoughtfulness, mindfulness and love each of us in our own moment as one beauty way perfect as we are. That is a great power and a great thing that is made to be the great IAM as the infinitesimal nuance that is everything all together all at once in one moment as itself. There is no need to blend or link to create our work or see or feel who we are in each others presence.  In fact if we become one here and now we negate the here and now of who we are. 

we are not the same and we are not meant to be the same  or to use who we are  or use each other to make something else in this time and space that is not our job this go round  that job belongs to the creation spirits   it is quite enough to learn while we are here to be all that we individually are  and to come together and make the space for each other to be as we are separate but gathered is quite a miracle in itself

so back to the circle and the intentions that are gathered there and why we don't connect to that circle with our hearts

It is easy to see that very few of us no matter how long we know each other or how cohesive our discussions are have or carry the same intention in any given situation especially in a circle. We all come from different experiences, memories, skill levels, and have different agendas and communicate well but often not very well with those who we are meeting for the first time or even those with whom we are trying to learn a new way to connect. One of the reasons we use the circle practice is that it allows us as individuals, as ourselves fully, to interact in a personal and sometimes very powerful way through our connection to the middle; to the fire.  Our connection through the rim of agreements, principles and practices assures us that we may show up as we are without any worry that we will fit or not fit, be the same or not, be huggy and lovely, or something altogether original. The one thing that the circle practice prohibits as does the universal or cosmic laws, is that of using opportunity for self promotion, gain or manipulation of others.  Its a no-no.

We are unified in our circle practice and the energetics go in the middle, in the Dantian, the fire in the belly of the circle. For some of us this is the first time we get to experience freely not fitting in, not being the same, not bending ourselves as women or changing who we are into a cohesive unit that pleases or serves something beyond ourselves.  For some of us, the circle practice at the gathering is the first time we get to exist as ourselves and listen to our own heart speaking to us.  What makes the circle valuable is that it is diverse.  What makes us so valuable is that we are diverse.  We are the beautiful nuance of eternity captured in a moment of time and space.  You are absolutely different than me and I love that about you!

The heart is powerful.  It is also personal.  It is private and in more than one human being who is walking around the heart is often physically compromised or weak.  It is no secret or illusion that great energy can change, move, harm or heal the physical, emotional, and cognitive capacity of a physical being.

This is why in the study ofTai-chi, qigong, and in ceremony it is a core teaching and responsibility of the master to teach the student that the energy of the practice, the medicine, flows not from the heart but from the belly, the Dantian of the fire. The heart has other tasks and medicines to attend to.  Energetics that flow between us especially during elevated times of interaction should not originate from, reside in or move into the heart.  To do so is to risk killing or severely damaging the heart of the person you are sending that energy to, or to yourself as the conduit of that energy. There is more than one account of Masters who damaged their hearts, had heart attacks and died or nearly died, because when they were first beginning to learn their practice, they did not learn to move from the Dantian rather than the heart.

basically its like plugging your christmas lights into the wrong socket.  It may work for a bit when you are learning and trying on your practice, but when what is really inside of you and what is really outside of you (which is still you) connects in your heart, rather than the Dantian which is designed for that connection; it fries the heart.  just like too many plugs at christmas

Please do not ask me to align my heart with yours energetically. Please, recognize rather, from my individuality and my active attentiveness that I am present and I want you also to be present.  I do not want to be you or for you to be me, I want us to BE together we already are, One, and it is here as singularities that I get to see myself in you as the beauty that in this time and space I cannot be or see when we are not here.  My heart is mine, yours belongs to you.  Our Dantian however is something else altogether. 

and if you are still with me after all the preamble  which is important  then now we will get down to the Dantian (not the heart, ha caught ya!) of the matter.

In tai-chi, and in qigong, in ceremony, the flow and exchange of energy is one of the core principles of the movement and power or strength of the practice.  In tai-chi, ceremony, and qigong, energy may pass through our entire being including our heart, but we do not hold it there or move from the heart in our practice.  We do not use our heart as the focus or receptacle of energy flow, chi, around or through or from us.  To do so is dangerous.

To teach people to connect through their heart for energy exchange is, for someone of my training and background, a thought that is abhorrent in the highest degree.   I understand that not all have my background or training, or experience.  I remember that we are all diverse and that we all have differing paths and nuances to share.  I respect those who want to pursue this way of heart coherence that is being taught and shared as the beauty way.  However, I feel it is my responsibility to speak up for a different way.  

We use the Dantian for energy exchange precisely because it is not emotional or controlled by our thoughts. We use it so that we do not overwhelm another with our own thoughts or emotions or allow another to overwhelm us. Moving from the Dantian, connecting to the energetics that flow between us through the Dantian is connecting through the higher states of awareness rather than the physical and emotional and mental mechanism of the heart.  Believe it or not the heart is real. It is a muscle that can be damaged, overwhelmed, and sometimes destroyed actually very easily by energy.  The Dantian however, is a place that exists inside us without existing in one of our physical organs. It therefore capable of being used as an energy exhange center, without risk of a heart attack and is quite useful as a defense against a body or energy attack.  The Dantian is capable of being everything all together all at once (Takucnascnan) without harming us physically or depending on someone else to manage or control it.  it is not controllable by another in us which is quite cool and yet it is very capable of connecting to all that is.   Awesomeness!!!  and it is built in , yep  its free you already have one just like I do and its been waiting for you to find it all these years   cooooooool 

I understand the desire to feel the heart bond or elevation of energy especially when our hearts are tired or our Dantian is cut off from the energetics of our universe and spiritual self because we have a block in ourselves that keeps us from its balance. If you are unable to connect to your Dantian I suggest working on it rather than using or practicing connection by using the heart.  The heart is wonderful and amazing, but it is not the place to connect, it is the place that tends to us as individuals.

Many of us have forgotten that we have a private garden in our heart and we also have a universal spiritual hub so to speak  in our Dantian.  They are two different places in our bodies.  My heart is the place in me that gets to remain gentle and soft, protected by skill, experience, and the sacred space that is my one and true place in this physical world that is part of the great circle of life.  My heart is my place.  It belongs to me and it is where I sit in council with myself.

My Dantian is my place of exchange.  Because the Dantian is intimately and inexplicably connected always to Takucnascnan (everything alltogether all at once) the eternal and the temporal and all that is and all that was and all that will be  ALL of IT, it has much more skill and ability than my brain, or my heart muscle, or my slow to remember untrained ignorant self thus far.  So I trust it to take care of me and I am learning to move from it and to receive through it and to let it take care of me and to not override it (my gut) with my head or my emotion or someone else’s story or agenda.  It has enough coherence for me with all of you for lifetimes of connection. 

when we gather, I trust that my presence is a coherence.  I trust that my practice is a coherence.  I keep my heart for me. my Dantian is constantly in motion in balance with the Dantian that you also bring.  So think about your heart and think about your beautifulness and take good care of it.  We are quite amazing spiritual warrioresses ladies.  We just need to make sure that we know what we are doing and choosing.  Educate yourselves, ask questions, follow but don't be led.  Walk with me not behind me.  we are in circle are we not?

So with all respect to the other side of the mirror and its practices and practitioners, Rather than using my heart to give, receive, or send energy and coherence to any other, I choose to use my Dantian, my core of chi, my gut.  It is the place where my sense of restraint and deflection and thoughtfulness and understanding is not controlled by my head or by my emotion or colored by my fantasy or past. It is the place that is impervious to harm, which is quite nice frankly.  It is the place where I know that no harm will come to you from me or to me from you.

and so with this letter/blog I stand in my place in the circle and add a voice of perspective and perhaps balance to our gathering 

thanx for letting me be present and I hope you enjoy the present of this

love ya, mean it 

Hehaka Win Wicakpi Zi