the Irreplaceable Now

Good night  Relatives

what a nice day its been    I got to help one of the guys that works on the house today with his goats and sheep.  It was really nice.  I got all bundled up and he picked me up and I got to measure and give by mouth the parasite "drench" that they get this time of year.  We were slow and careful with each one  taking care to handle them gently.  I was careful with their mouths and teeth of course.  Each got a little blessing and prayer, and love,  each one.  It was a nice feeling to do my work a little again   and to help him and help the animals.  they did so well  it took about three hours to treat all of them and we will repeat in about two to three weeks apart twice again   that way they will be healthier through the winter and really ready for spring.

after that I got cleaned up and went to physical therapy  then came home and rested and worked on the book a bit  cooked some rice in bone broth   and now will watch "On Golden Pond"   we have had rain all day here   a nice winter rainy stormy day  so more water from the lake blessing the ground here.

I think that its good to learn to weather storms.  we have all been caught out between what we wanted and where we thought we were going and the difference of where our friends or family are or were headed.   We have all I think/ feel been through tough times with each other.

I really want to make a prayer today that we continue as a whole  as a loving group and wonderment of balance and friendship to keep our love intact. that we choose forgiveness and grace when being hard or turned away is the obvious or easy choice.  I pray that our lives together are defined not by the best or the worst times that we have shared or moved through or even gotten stuck in.  I pray that we remember we are the unremarkable time shared in planting bulbs or washing dishes or folding clothes or pushing hair back out of our faces.  WE ARE the commonality that we share. I pray we remember and stand firm in that no matter how hard the wind storms against our windows of pain.  I pray that we remember that one really bad day is just that; one day.  that we are not the sum of our work or our abilities but we are the hearts and hands and bodies that carry the souls of each others joy  and earthly endeavors. WE are the embrace that can be felt so strongly after an injury or extraordinary joyful time. WE are that family that is woven together by going forward.  that in the darkest time or the strongest wind even if we let go of hope or each others hand that we don't reduce our lives to that one time or moment.  but remember that the river of life has many turns and rocks to crash against, eddies to swirl around in and pools of deep deep thought. no matter the form or path or falls that go down  it still remains the river.  I pray that we stay in the river.  We deserve love and care and that steadfast heart no matter what with and for each other.

I pray relatives that you can feel that I love you  that I miss you  that today I wish you were here in my home  in this grandmother house laughing  having dinner comfortably sitting and enjoying that each of us exists  I pray that above and beyond any and all thing that you know that I love you

wind breaks reign
drops streaking the window pain
Still, winter delights

today the bus driver was admiring the buddha statues in the yard  it was an easy thing to say that they are calming  he asked how so and I siad if you just go and sit and look at them  just sit and be with them  they calm you down   he said if that was so he would take a dozen    he's invited to come and sit and I imagine that in the spring he will be one of the blossoms in the yard

this house will blossom    we will laugh around the table  and stay up to greet the stars or discuss the balance of the heart and the hand     then we will sleep and restore our bodies for the next day in the garden morning will bring coffee fresh juice and sleepy heads wanting to stay in the blankets  a good day of labor  building digging cutting and folding will make a strong garden for the season

thank you relatives for all you give to this house  to your house  to our friendship and our lives
to this life and this time
the irreplaceable now

thank you
nina waste
mary