just to find her
Good evening Relatives
its ten degrees in Pipestone BRRRRRR LOL it will get down to 3 degrees tonight or I should say in the morning
saturday morning
I just finished watching the movie "Stranger Than Fiction" for I don't know maybe the 34th or the 50th time and this time
This time I saw two new things
by the way I love the song that the hero plays
it is an amazing transition in the film
an amazing transition in the movie
in the character in more than one character which in the end changes everything
what is interesting to me is that when I first saw the film, I recognized this moment, I recognized why
why the film and its message was important why the transition that this man who is a mundane tax man makes is so important
but I didn't get it
not yet
not again and again and again
until tonight
harold hesitates when she asks him to play the song he says not tonight maybe some other time and then he realizes that he may not have another time and what does he do with that chance that is there in his hand and will never come again
our life does not come back when it is lost
the moments that you spent reading this post will never come again
you are living your life
I am living mine
but are we living it? are we ?
its very likely now or never
and what I got if you will watch the movie before going on with the post I recommend it
even if you have already watched it watch it again even if you hate will ferrell don't let it stand in your way
watch it again
go the whole wide world
go
go find her
what I saw this time was that Harold Crick the hero of the tragedy wanted to live
he wanted to live he wanted it he wanted to live
and I could feel it in him that wanting the pivotal moment when he understood suddenly that he was on an undeviatable path to his own death and that it was imminent his death was imminent and he understood this and he in understanding that death was imminent he understood for the first time in his life that he wanted life
it was the first time I could feel that he wanted life it was amazing
it made all of the rest of it richer
realizing that it is important even when you know that you are going to die
to want life
to want it to want life
and what is life if not the moment each moment that you or I or we are in full awareness that not only is our life in our hands right now
but it is also ending
right now
and once ended
it won't
and doesn't
come back
and one of the reasons the movie works is that the hero is not greedy about it he isn't bitter and doesn't waste time bitching about the end or destroying himself and his opportunities because they are going to end he doesn't natter on about it he seeks counsel but ultimately he stands as himself in his own life and decides freely how to spend it and how to end it
he rejects despair and any power that death might have over him and as such his life
it becomes sweeter, more fragile yet stronger and more powerful it becomes so much more important to be present in it and yet not manipulate it to some false or tedious end
to have it and to go forward to his end as himself truly honestly and with a subtle passion that is unbreakable it is a key thing this awareness this actualization of and idea into a reality
that is what he discovers
that ideas can be actualized into reality and in finding that out he finds within himself that he is in the act of living his life as if it was and is precious as if he wanted it
living to have what he wants he finds within himself a willingness to die for someone else
extraordinary isn't it
and the second thing I realized or heard or got this time was that the writer, played by emma thompson realized that her scripting her storytelling her writing was actually being created in the real world people were not affected by her story her imagination her committing to her own words and thoughts and direction they were controlled by it they were designed by it and when she said they died they died
she came face to face with the true understanding that she was truly playing God with her fellow man
and rather than shirk this or reject it or pretend it was nonsense or run away from it or rationalize it or ???&&^%$#@*&*!!~@# on an on and on
she decided to be a better writer because of it
and that is it isn't it
that deciding to be a better writer
you see we can't avoid the FACT
the TRUISM that we indeed are the writers of our story
you are the writer of my story
and I am of yours
there is no avoiding it and no ignoring it or passing it off on someone else
you are writing my life
and I am writing yours
we are the authors
that is what we all can do
become better writers
or not
there was no question that the writing wasn't going to go forward nor that it wasn't going to make or break Harold Crick there was no avoiding the reality of the truth
she just had to decide what kind of writer she wanted to be
and she didn't decide not to kill him because she couldn't bear being a murderer
she decided not to kill him because she saw in his self
the self he became when he responded to both wanting to live and knowing he was going to die
she decided that he was valuable
how interesting is that
it was a clarity that is difficult for us to see in ourselves in our own lives it has taken me years to come a little bit closer to this understanding and I don't mean intellectually or spiritually although certainly these things have helped me arrive at this place of transition where in looking at her in the movie I saw it I saw that she got it and in seeing her get it what I really was getting was that I got it about me and about you and me and you all of us individually and altogether all at once are creating what happens to us
but really get it
get it so that like harold and like karen the hero and the writer the getting of it transforms the entire way that we make choice about the moments of our lives
the seconds on the clock
the seconds that are "watched"
something that is taught to us over and over you are what you think the world is created by you, I, me, we every day
we make it up as we go and so it goes and she got it and it was not just her that got it it was me as well
and it took all this time and everything in my life and my doing and pursuing and this movie over and over to get it to find it to go the whole wide world
so can you get it?
can you understand and find it
find that knowledge
will you go the whole wide world just to find her yourself
the power of your own life of wanting it of having it of having the truth that you are writing you are creating me my world and I am creating yours
how about that
so like the guitar practicing
in the movie to make the movie work they got it really fast
and the thing is that the faster we get it the more life we have to have
there is no time to waste relatives
its now or never
for you , for me, for us
like digging for the gold of your heart and mind and life keep going keep practicing keep going
you will find it
I will find it
we can find it and when those two things come together wanting to live and understanding that what we think how we think what we create with our minds our hearts our words our intentions our design really does change our world me for you and you for me
will you go the whole wide world for me?
do you think that I will for you?
do you want me to?
I want you to
I want to live
even though I know that I am going to die
even though i know that my death is speeding towards me
I want to live
I want to with my life go the whole wide world for you
when we want them to people die
when we want them to people live
including and especially ourselves
each for the other
so
go the whole wide world to find her
yes
watch the movie
what ever it take s
love love love
Mary
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