Its snowing winter has snuck onto springs stage and made well lets see a late summer is called Indian Summer not sure if that means east west or american indian and so a late winter well shall we call it a Russian spring? or perhaps white christmas II
not sure what to call it but it is here we had I believe about a foot last week and today it is a dusting but still white and slick and cold the snow is so silent
i've been going to the library and checking out books and movies it is a good resource and if they do not have a book on hand and it is available in the interlibrary loan then it can be ordered in which is like having the entire library system in minnesota as your own
I watched the exotic marigold hotel movie in it Dame Judi Dench says in her blog something about hindu funerals its of course very relevant to the movie as well as I think to the lifespan of a snow flake and to all of us as we live in what is or may be our last opportunity for the day certainly those who died at the marathon would understand and those who simply let go in their sleep last night or who never quite made it through the process of birth this time around or the mayfly would understand
It takes a long time to burn a body
the fire is lit at dawn
and by sunset
there must be nothing left but ashes
when I heard her say that in the movie I knew that the writer was speaking about our lives
by sunset there must be nothing left but ashes
our fire is lit at the dawn of our bodies animation by our spirit
and we must tend that fire if at sunset we want to have only ashes
the fire of our life must be tended or it will not burn up our opportunities fully
or it might burn them up too fast and have only ash by noon
or go out altogether leaving too much unconsumed flesh to put into the river as ash
like the snowflake formed high above the earth's surface our life rises before it falls and like the snowflake that is intersected by a strong beam of sunlight, a goose flying north for summer, or the tip of an extended tongue some of us never reach the earth before we are absorbed back into the lake from which we arose
will we branch out like the snowflake using the cavities formed by the differences that are within and without us to continue to reach out and define who we are? and as we rise and form and branch out will we be weighted down by regret? or fear? or reluctance? or indecision? is that what will make us fall to the ground?
will we hold so tightly to our own agendas that we never develop the beautiful arms the branches six degrees of directional simultaneous connection ?
or will we accumulate joy, trust in each other when even we are not quite up to snuff, friendships that weathered the cavities of unknown space, reflections of reaching ever reaching out from our center to form in solid snow crystal our snowflake branches of our family tree
are we sure that when we
will those branches finally weighted down with the froot of our effort that we never let go of our ever reaching out to each other for connection and compassion finally carry us to our resting place of solidarity on the earth?
do you know that a snowflake once it begins to form never stops reaching from within itself towards some outside of itself unknown opportunity until the trail of its traversing that path is formed in crystal behind it until it finally reaches a balance between its cold impetus and the warmer air that surrounds it? we may think that it is not still reaching because they do not grow as big as cars or a dish satellite but they keep reaching and evaporating until finally the balance shifts and the warmth releases them from the crystal fire that is at their center and they lie on the ground or the concrete buddha statue or the upside of the tree branch in piles like ashes drifted once the life has been burned away
and still they choose to connect they transform into water and return to life again
in the spring when the grass is greening and bending against the last drifts of snows ashes as the sun melts those little bodies into the river of life the water that was their ashes becomes the beginning draft for the new life that follows
do you think that when the snow flake is falling and reaching and forming around the cavities between warmer and colder that it thinks about its own pain or its own losses or its own misadventures or its own goals that if it doesn't land on just the right surface or form just the perfect sharply branched six at once arms that it has failed?
i think it does because we are alive and think and we are 80-90% water and we think we vibrate
your vibration reaches me through the water and mine reaches you
do you think it stops seeking that connection that is innate in its nature? just because the fire of life consumes it as it lives?
or do you think that it just keeps on holding its crystal clear intention seeking the balance between the brittleness of too much cold effort and not enough warm embrace do you think that it perceives falling as bad? or scary?
I like the thought of the snow as the ash of the lake ending its life as spring begins I like the thought of all those ashes spread out across our land reminding us as the lake so often does to live live live our lives with intent and joy and generosity and flexibility and beauty and strength and power live through our seasons our learning curves our misadventures but always always as the water does as the ashes do as the sun is setting always maintain your connection to each and everything
for that is the balance that brings the joy in the spring
at the end of the day our ash is the fertilizer for those who are on their way to the light through the mud
P.s S I want to thank again all of you who have given me support, connection through this long winter and through the challenges of getting up from my fall, as i told a good friend of mine, it takes at least four times of seeking healing with ceremony before we have addressed it in all dimensions that branch out around us and perhaps give us pain or block us from connection or from seeing how we can go so that we do no harm any and all who have and are been there I am also with you and I am thankful for you in my life as I am thankful for the lake in all her forms throughout the season for travelling here to my home for a visit
love love love
mb
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