Hi
I didn't fall off the earth yet, LOL been very busy so its time to catch-up. So much has flowed that it may be difficult to get it all in. we will see
Last Thursday the guys had finished enough of the siding on the house to hang the elk medicine skull and horns on the front of the house. This elk medicine is from my altar and I have been waiting to hang it. AS soon as the guys finished attaching it to the house, the Thunder Beings came over snowed and rained sharply for about a minute then in the east sky (elk medicine is in the east of the medicine wheel and is for Love and Stamina) there appeared a double rainbow that Filled the entire eastern horizon. it was so astounding that we all just stopped and stood there watching / looking at it. it was there for about a half hour then it just disappeared. Really really good and great LOVE from the Spirit Beings. So once again we are on track.
the next day, last friday, I rode out to wisconsin to teach class thank you GMa D for your help and tremendous gift of time, energy and money to get us there. Thank you GMa B for all your work to make it happen and to GMa Eleanor of course, thank you to all the GMa's and women that showed UP to do their Work last weekend in wisconsin. What an amazing time was had by all. We did an all day predator workshop; looking in the mirror, reviewing personal and self predatory agendas, recognizing the agendas in legacies and stories, and also the vulture mentality vs the phoenix. then Sat night we discussed holding the fire at Lame Deer and how one sets an intention, builds and holds and watches the fire and maintains that focus no matter what shows up. again amazing women were there doing their work. Then on Sunday we were blessed with ceremony from the pipes and then reviewed the teachings in the Kung Fu Panda. It was an extraordinary weekend. Quite something. I wrote about it in the draft I found and published called night train.
Once home I got ready to drive up to Fargo and take the train to Seattle. I will try and post the pictures from the train later on the blog.
the train was amazing. I was terrified of it. everyone was so different than me. how funny is that, to come face to face with my own comfortableness of being surrounded by all of you; in the reflection of my fear of the Appearance of the people in the station and on the train. Most of the folks on the train were very diverse. Most it appeared to me, were, like me, definately in the lower income class of americans. (Which made it an interesting place to be reflecting on during the election day). I realized, comng face to face with a fear that I did not know I had, that I was not as free as I thought I was to move about. How interesting is that Relatives.
it was dark 3:30 in the am when I boarded the train so I got to reflect the remainder of the night on my fear.
In the morning we were well into south Dakota. As I looked out across the plains from the window of the train I could see all the spirits of the buffalo. They were there, the buffalo spirits, standing as if their bodies had left, but they did not. They were standing waiting it appeared, for the connection that would allow them to continue on thier journey. Like being held in Limbo. Like being on the train. In limbo between a world that trusted everyone and a world that did not. It illustrated to me how choices impact all of us. How clearly evident that the choices of the few can affect the lives of so many. it was a few polititians that allowed and even ordered the slaughter of the buffalo nation so that their agenda would move forward. I wonder how many we have slaughtered since with our own agendas.
the morning sighting of the buffalo brought some relief to my fear. however when I went to breakfast I got freaked out all over again, It was Required that I sit with Strangers if I wanted to eat hot food. NO OPTION if I wanted to eat I had to sit with Others!! I so completely freaked out and froze right there in the asile, because I didnt know anyone and had to sit with strangers. doesn't that make you laugh! you see Gmas how easy it is to be out of our element! which is good for me. To learn compassion. To learn and to expereince that it is one thing always for us to talk a good game eh? but we must live it. We must Live our Fire. Yes! and I love that the spirits are always and have always asked me to put my money so to speak wehre my mouth is. LOL that is a fact! and as the buddha or the yoda said, " if you think you are enlightened go and see your relatives." ha ! Well this train was full of my relatives. and to the spirits and the pipes I say thank you for taking me again to my edge of exhaustion, of cold tolerance, of travel boundaries and then sticking me on a moving vehicle that I could not escape, with people that I was taught to fear, and in a situation that I can not control eh? Ha!!why are we taught to fear those that are different than us, those who have a different relationship with life than we do. Those who we don't know?
I don't know. but it was right there in my face once again; the me that I do not want to remain being by the end of the day.
I could have beaten up myself for being afraid. For being judgemental for not being .... whatever... but as we learned in the panda workshop we don't wash our pitts in the pool of sacred tears. we just recognize that thank LIFE we have found another place where resistance is lurking inside of us and if we are Present, we can take our sharp scalpel and cut it out. no time for wasting our efforts on shock and horror that we are not perfect eh? relatives. we might miss the train if we dawdle.
so here I was surrounded by my own realization that I needed a better perspective if I was going to Live changing the world. That Change meant being available for and including EVERYBODY. You know we've been praying for the Cheyenne for months and we figured out that how we spend our day is what creates the night sky they have to endure. I think that the Cheyenne are not the only ones that have to endure that night sky Relatives. I think all of us do, including the spirits of the Buffalo Nation. Reflected in those I met in that train station and in the aisles of the train was my habits of non thought and judgement and fear. The habit of Separation. I thought why be fearful. why judge eh? what is the Other choice here that I can make. What do You think Relatives? what is the other choice
how nice to find one more part of me to cut off the head of. Good training and not so suprising that asking those women all weekend to cut off their heads meant that I would have to cut off mine, again.
my uncomfortableness was not just in the identity judgement I was taught but also caused in part by the constant motion of the train. it was like being on a giant metal camel. rocking and speeding and bumping and slowing and stop then go. kind of like the journey with the house participating but not really incharge. So much movement that I was not sure of, not familiar with, and definately not in charge of. I had never been where we were going so I could not find comfort in a memory, my travelling companions were not known to me so again, no memory to comfort or guide me, it was a truly new expereince. how interesting to find myself so stuck or attached to my own little parameters of life and there was no escaping any of it.
back to breakfast; standing in the asile Everyone Aware that I was Stuck, Ha! Stuck bewteen fear and old school Way and the Parameters of the Brave New World, well maybe that is not what they saw, but it was what I saw. Ha! not only was I trapped on this moving train and could not get off, but the straw that was going to break the camels back was that I was going to have to eat with Strangers if I was going to eat. wow what a mirror that was to look into.
Again thank Life for the staff on the train, they were like the spirits so used to all of us standing there like deer in headlights at the edge of our training, the edge of our limited imagination, the edge of what we thought we might be able to understand and endure. At the edge of the Remains of what we know to do with the day, the Moment we indicate that we Accept, they gently guide us to our table. How cool is that !!
LOL whew super crazy train newbie like life!! do you think Relatives that we will be able to Ride the World we are asking this one to Change into?
I sat with two women and one as it turned out, was best friends with a GMa from the gathering at Lake Superior. How amazing is that! a connection! just when I thought all was lost and I couldn't take any more. ha!! man was I tired. The otherwoman was a wonderful GMa from the south. a cook! another connection. we had the best morning. After realizing they weren't going to eat me, LOL, and listening attentively to their stories I talked with them about the amazing weekend in WI and the predator, the self predator, the mirror of self reflection, the fire, holding the fire, setting one's intention and holding it and a little bit about the panda. mostly about the amazing women who had worked so hard to set a New Intention for the Fire in our World. I also told them about the GMa house in Pipestone, they were very happy to know that the house existed, that it was being built and that it was for them. Super cool what a start to the day. somehow after that meal the train started to look like a good oportunity for rest and trust.
later as I watched geese flying together in the sky I remarked to my friend EG that they were so unlike us. They have an "hardwired" intention that guides thier heart on thier great journeys. They hold that intention and work with each flap of the wing, each group effort, rotating leadership to keep the journey to the point, and to maintain a balanced perspective. How different than us eh relatives? they do not question doing the work to stay in the air. To maintian the journey. They give all they have to ensure that the flock will make it in the great transitions of life. cool huh?
Once we were across the plains and began our journey into the mountains and out on the west coast the motion of the train had become imbedded in me. When I got here to seattle it took a bit for me to feel like things should not be moving all around me. ha! but it was good to see once again that here in this time we are all on the same train moving towards a common destination and what we do as individuals and as a group not only shapes our experience but our opportunities and our trust.
on the train people respected each others private space, no one stole anything from anyone and there was a strong sense of community very flexible diverse community it was like travelling at the core of each of us. We knew that messing with the train was messing with something that should not be broken or betrayed. it was a crazy thing. something to think aobut.
I got here this morning and it has been an amazing day. I was priviledged to see two wonderful women warriors of the heart meet each other today one from the AZ GMa gathering and one from Lame Deer we had lunch and visited. I am here for work on the software company www.dibbs-dental.com at the Veterinary dental Forum here in seattle so hold the intention with me relatives that this will truly and solidly launch the sales of the software into the public/professional veterinary domain. Thank you for your love and support in that endeavor.
it is very clear to me that we need community.That I cannot do the house alone. That The Spirits are working immediately and as thoroughly as any and all of us who have pitched in to make this directive a reality. It is very clear to me that each of us will and do have a part in this great vision that encompases the Center of the East and West Gate. That everything is moving and coming and going to be put in place.It so matters to me Relatives that you also have shown up and are willing to give and to do part of the work of the whole. I have changed Relatives so much even since June and will change More I believe in this change and in the Way of the Heart
thank you
all my best
love and light shadow and song
mary
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