inner peace and the acid spitters a light in the dark of practice

Good Morning Relatives

so I was thinking about the grandmothers gathering and also about Kung Fu Panda 2

I was writing out some things  some observations   and in trying to condense down into succinctness that which is complex or full of nuance  it took me awhile to find the best question  because its all a question isn't it?  and asking the most succinct question leads us to the most accurate, relevant applicable, i.e. deepest answer or at least that is what I have found to be true

so, here is the question:  what is it that the Dragon Warrior is fighting for?

we know that he uses kung fu to save kung fu from that which destroys kung fu
this relatives, is the same as using circle practice to save circle practice from that which destroys circle practice  what the Dragon Warrior and We bring to this practice is the willingness to dig deeper into the application of the agreements and principles and to learn what that looks like in an ever evolving world of non practice  oh and lack of resistance to change both negative (outside the practice) and positive ( inside the practice)  that is really something!

we know that he finds who he is today by letting go of the wounds of the past  he is not what he was or what happened to him  he is who he chooses to be now

we know he finds inner peace because we see him learn and practice the skill of holding himself as himself even as he reaches out and has an intentional encounter with a water droplet.

inner peace is what he is while he holds his place, his own identity separate from the water drop as he moves with it through time and space; letting it fall, letting it do its thing, and experiencing it, experiencing himself being himself while it moves across his awareness, through his space and time  he moves with it WITHOUT absorbing it or modifying it or slowing it down or modifying himself as himself as he encounters it   that is inner peace   there is no impetus to exist in an others space and time in order to know or feel or experience that we exist   both the water drop and the panda have inner peace in that time and space

during the gathering I was gently and thoughtfully lead through the exercise of gathering the "water" of someone else's "stuff" that had been splashed on me; words and emotions that were like acid and were intended to "drench" me and others in their intention, words and emotions that if held in the agreements of circle practice would simply go into the fire where they would find peace but, these words and emotions had been splashed about persistently and liberally outside of the circle and some of it had gotten on me.  it is hard to hold the agreements of circle practice when others are not doing so,  it is hard to learn the nuance of what that means,  it is hard to see that everything is kung fu and what that means  until  that it we see it,  we get it  until we let go and hold on all at the same time,

I was not quite there yet  I knew that I needed to hold on to circle practice  I knew that inner peace about this was at hand and I just could not yet get it   ....  and I was fighting, struggling with not chewing on their fist, not letting their stuff absorb into me.   so I sat with a friend and did not spew it on her I just outlined my own struggle to the center  between us  and she sat with me and reminded me gently to move that stuff off of me and to let it go back to the earth who would know best how to take good care of their stuff,  there was no need for me to own, grab, change, judge, eat, chew on, pass on repeat or invest in what was theirs

I encountered them on their journey  and I am and was on mine  we travelled together in the same time and space but we were not the same and there was no need to be them or become them or have them become me for either of us to exist peacefully

sometimes people throw acid or spit acidic words and intentions on others or into their ears  not sure what the motivation is  Im sure it is personal  it would be like trying to assign a motivation or cause to each raindrop that fell from the sky  all I know is that it wasn't mine and I am and was under no obligation to take it in or on  but because there was a deliberateness in the delivery and I was in the position of needing to move through the same time and space as this drop it was imperative that I not run away or get splashed and burned it was imperative that I maintain me peacefully and yet move that "stuff" through my encounter with it without becoming part of it or it part of me    it was tough  it is a tough concept until it is not   LOL so much of our learning is like that isn't it?  cell phones were a mystery until they were not  so was tying shoes and walking we just don't remember

so I was struggling but close  so I picked a good and steady friend to help me and she agreed so we sat

  my friend sat with me and led me through the exercise of the water droplet and she spoke to me of beauty of laughter of gentleness and of song  just regular things of our lives and friendship and as she spoke to me I let her words sweep up all that acid and gently put it back into a little ball that rolled off of me onto the earth

I didn't hold onto the acid until she was done
I didn't try to use her or me or our our-ness to dilute or explain it away
I didn't do anything but visualize that spoken acid being swept up and collected back to itself with peace and care and let it go

you see I know the earth is much much better with perspective than I am, she has more experience with acid spitters, violence and anger than even I do, she has more resources and much more ability and wisdom to care for what they were seeking or doing in a way that will take good care of them and her and I as well.  I really mean that relatives  it is not just an idea or something I repeat  it is a truism in me and in sweeping up all that "stuff" and letting it roll off me with attentiveness and care  it was a relief and I am grateful to my friend and the people at dreamwork and the panda and master shifu and oogway and the water for this teaching  in practice   I am also grateful to the acid spitters for the perfect timing of their gift that illuminated for me finally an immediate and beautiful opportunity to learn and actually experience this exercise in inner peace  thank you

so acid spitters, confidentiality and circle practice breakers are one thing, but how does our Dragon Warrior hold onto inner peace when cannon balls are screaming towards him?  how do we hold onto our circle practice and our kung fu, our inner peace; when someone wants to load us up with gossip and that someone is us?  how do we maintain inner peace when that little urge to inflate our self worth rises up in the form of being someones champion presents itself to us?  we save kung fu by using kung fu,  we maintain circle practice by maintaining circle practice.

well    lets go back to the beginners mind     lets go back to zero      lets go back to the principles and agreements  and see if what we are fixin to do is in accordance with that or those or not?

the greatest strength that the Panda has is that he always goes back to zero  always   always  always

we know that Po protects what is precious  even that precious moment in the end when Lord Shen had the choice the moment when he could abandon his current path.   the Panda does not choose for Shen  he protects Shen's right to choose his own destiny no matter what he has chosen up to that moment  he does not jump in and prevent Shen from destroying himself nor does he punish him for what he has done up to that moment  he knows that just like himself  Shen gets to decide who he is and ride that pony once he has saddled it

so one thing that scene teaches me is that sometimes the acid spitters burn down their own house around themselves  it happens if you keep pouring sugar on a fire you started

thats the other nice thing about the Panda  he knows that each of us can learn  can and do choose and each of us gets to decide who we are and what pony we want to ride (by the way if the pony thing throws you it is just an old Texan thing we grew up saying; you saddled that pony  I'm not going to ride it for you you can always turn it back out to pasture but if you insist on riding it its your pony)

remember even if your story did not have such a good beginning ( i.e. everything up to that moment )  it can still have a beautiful ending; it all depends on what you or I or we do with the gift of the present

inner peace comes from not letting our past or our projections about the future control our gift known as the present  but it also comes from not letting anyone else's reality become our own   it is possible to encounter someone whose reality is completely different than ours  ( and what could be more different than a water drop that is on its way to falling to the ground and a big fat panda hand and arm finding it and moving with it through the air ) inner peace is holding ourself fluidly and thoughtfully and not putting our reality our shape our wherewithal on any other being even when we are as close as that water drop is to itself and Po,  (Po doesn't change the water drop and the drop does not change him) while we also do not let them change us ( the water drop stays intact as itself even as it makes its way across him to the ground)

but it takes skill  it takes practice  it takes learning to dig a little deeper to produce the fruit of the present   to hold onto our own beauty way when perhaps we encounter on our path those who do not choose to respect or hold sacred and protect the same thing that the panda holds and protects for us

do we worry about them?  so we try and change them?  do we ride their pony?  do we let go of our own discipline and agreements so that they are not alone?  how much ego and illusion do we let ourselves be caught in  it only takes one small waver in our centeredness to be caught in their story and drenched  holding inner peace isn't a rigid thing it is simply holding that center holding that peace holding that identity that we have decided on  

thats right we get to decide over and over who we are  and when someone comes along and asks us to change that commitment why do we give them and their desire precedence over our own inner peace?  its a good question  its something that only each one of us can answer for ourselves.  its private only we can look in our own mirror and answer for ourselves what it is about us that makes us step from our story into theirs?

 so what is that thing and what kind of skills do we need to be the Dragon Warriors of our Own Lives?  most of all it takes deciding who we are in the mo  

who are you?   what does that mean and what will mean when the gorillas, the wolves, the Lord Shen's or the gardener ask us to step off our path and on to theirs?  some of us are caught by sugar, some by acid, some by trauma, some by praise, some by work, some by effort some by stillness each of us knows what story it is that we get caught in and each of us needs to be given the gift of knowing that we do not have to play, finish, continue or stay caught   we simply roll it all back up and let it go  find ourselves in the now and be that only

is it worth it?  the panda thinks so,  and so do I

inner peace does not exist until it is not dependent on outer peace to exist  and inner peace also is fully able to exist with an others inner peace or perhaps their loud and blatant disharmony without in any way being the same as that which it encounters  cool huh?


so what is Po fighting for?   good question    I think he is simply fighting for level zero
for the right for each one of us to have our own inner peace

we know from circle practice that holding the principles and agreements of the circle helps us maintain our own personal integrity, our privacy, our strength, our place and chance of vulnerability that leads to inner strength.  it helps prevent us from judging others and or ourselves   it keeps us intact, clean, free to enjoy and create rather than destroy ourselves  we know from practicing the circle practice that not everyone wants to hold these things  or to abide by them  we know that learning brings up things that need to be released but we don't let go of the practice  and as long as we do not let go of it it will not fail us

so what is the panda fighting for   ?  that space  that space that is around and between all of us where we hold our agreements for ourselves and each other   that minute difference between my surface tension and yours is maintained by inner peace and by respect and the intention to create rather than to destroy

when someone takes over your space  or breaks the agreements or confidentialities held in circle  when someone asks you to set aside or break these confidentialities or agreements then they are asking you to set aside your own beauty way. they are asking you to destroy yourself  they are enlisting you as the warrior of black and white that defeats you if you continue on your current path which may be your path after all and surely is their path if they are asking you to destroy that surface tension

what are the skills that help us recognize when we are either using the energy of our encounters with each other (fireworks/ gunpowder/the ignition of fire, air, earth and intention) for creating beauty or for destruction?    is that not the difference between Lord Shen and his parents?  is that not the difference between kung fu and violence?  is that not the difference between holding and maintaining the principles, agreements and practices of circle practice and in breaking them?

creation or destruction

we can all tell the difference can't we

if we need more information  or we need to consider before acting or responding we ask for the bell  

even between us we can ask for the bell    

stop    hold it     wait     excuse me    umm I can see this is urgent for you but I need a mo  my undies are on fire  wait I don't have any undies on   got to pee!!  hold that thought and while you are at it keep it to yourself  I may be back but I won't want that thought then either  so move on

there are a thousand and one ways to ring the bell   and it is ok to do it at any time

hold it right there    I need to make sure my foot ing is steady and where I want it to be

we don't give others control over our footing, our ears, our compassion, our interpretation, our agreements, our confidentiality, our presence or our story

if we do   then we are putting them in the position of being Lord over our Life  and that is not part of the circle practice

so what the Panda is protecting is that space  that agreement that we have between and with each other and ourselves

there is a way to apply circle practice and agreements to your daily lives   I know that for most of us at least i can speak for myself here  that church was something we attended  not a place we lived   school was where we were taught, learned and were tested in our application of that learning,  sports or kung fu class was for practicing team playing and kung fu discipline   when I was a child, it seemed in the world I grew up in that  none of these places seemed to over lap  

my parents and others who were older than i; those who for me were the examplers of life and how to live it   they seemed to have these on and off switches they used   and when they left kung fu class discipline was left behind with it    when they left church honorable behavior stayed behind   when not at school teaching and growing seemed to be on a back burner  it was confusing to me  like letting go of what held us in good stead in these between places where we would all get lost and bad things would happen like gossip, and fear, and theft, and violence, and hatred, and all manner of negativity  it was icky  and it took me a long time to get rid of the idea of between places of its existence in my own life and then to not run away from others who were also taught to live like that and it also took a long time to learn to live in a constant care without weakness or judgement or like a stone or a hard place that felt nothing  hard style is not my style  and now I am learning even more how to be here and have that inner peace its quite cool

so one thing  one thing is to not let go of the principles and practice and agreements of circle practice it will make a difference and we can be quite creative and funny in its application even as we are being steady  no between places

the same sometimes happens when we go to grandmothers or attend ceremony or sit in circle practice   because we are as equally trained to abandon what goes on when we are attentive and attend once we walk out of circle or go home from grandmothers as we are to be attentive and attend when we sit down in circle together  

we don't have to leave circle practice behind in the circle  

so i am suggesting that we do not  do so    that we merge and over lapp and combine our principles, our practices, our agreements, our disciplines, our joy, our respect our confidentialities and bring them out into our lives as if we are always in circle  as if we are always kungfu  and as if we are always holding in sacred joy the respect that I belong to me and my now  you belong to yours and even if your past or mine did not have such a great beginning  it is NOW that matters most
and what I would like most to do with the present of my present  with my gift is to create  rather than destroy

best to you
mb