on a clear day you can see

Good morning Relatives

it is so peaceful here this morning    

somehow I have arrived at the place of peacefullness inside my core   it is an extraordinary thing and non graspable   it showed up the other night in the middle of the night   it was the place between any past or future  for sure  it was the place between any projection of responsibility or evaluation of accomplishment   it was an extraordinary place of peace  

I wanted to wrtie to you about it right away and in the night when all things were resting I could see the post and wrote it out   then when i woke it was gone  sure as swallowed tea with toast  gone on to other  things and times

then this morning I woke so peaceful  so clear   in the place wehre all opportunity was open and free with no guilt or burden or fear  or expectatable joy     I can tell you it is like ice and fire all at once in side my chest  so lovely so unexpected

I cannot tell you how to get here  nor what path to take    but I can tell younow as sure as one who has come back from a place of myth discovered  that it is a real place   that it is a discoverable and habitable place  that it is a place that can come back and exist within you and exude from you  its not just a myth and it is repeatable

well I am delighted   I can tell you    and rested finally  

its not magical  my health is not perfect yet and my bills are not all paid nor my debts fulfilled   all my worngs are not righted and all my rights are surely at some point with the turning of time to fail yet again   love for me is not permenant fixed in one being or partner but seems to be like an endlessly needed to be seeded field that I keep walking through with long long rows that by the time I return the children are being born from the fruit that was planted when i got to glimpse its majesty in person    in other words my life is not perfect  but it is present  and for the time being will continue

somehow I have a fading memory of efforts to be perfect  thoughts that I was either in or out right or wrong black or white and that grey was unacceptable    it still is unacceptable grey  for me  somehow I forgot or didint yet remember or know in this time and place and body about clear

clear is all without becoming anything else
all present

somehow I got there and while I am sure that I will in myventureing out into the day amongst people and old habit and circumstance and decisions actions etc  somehow I am may let go of clear my prayer like the one given every night for the children of Lame Deer is to return to my origin of clarity and to BE it in my waking day until that day in me in all my breath and movement and eyese open meets me in the darkest dark of the night clarity  through and through  

it is my prayer my desire my work my pleasure to become this one living thing in my time in our time for all of us all together all at once

my best to you relatives