Tighten Up America

Good Morning Relatives

its Super Bowl sunday   I have to work today   I currently work at a gas station/convenience store  I call it the stop and rob     I will let you cogitate on who stops and who gets robbed and in what way

I have to get ready for it   un like the guys who are putting on pads and helmets  I will only have a counter and a smock to keep me safe from the violence that will come at me on the field today
like those guys who work through a season of violence and train I am training  I am preparing for the field of battle the best way I know how

being a person who notices patterns there is a pattern that has come up at the s&r   because I am also a person who bangs against patterns like a bull in a china shop  this pattern has left scars on me that when I get home from work I have to remove   although I have many tattoos which of course are indelible scars  they are scars of my own choosing which is what makes them different than the scars of life which mark us as we make our way  when I look in the mirror I want to see my life, see it as successful, see it as something that grows my life,

I don't want to see the scars that others inflict on me because they have lost respect if they ever had it for me as a human being because I am a cashier at a gas station

we have talked before about how our intention moves our hands, infuses our breath then comes out of our mouth through words and is magnified creating the world that we live in

but are we creating a world that we can live in?  are you creating a world that i can live in?
did you forget when you came in the store that you create the world as you move through it?  I think that some of us have forgotten or never been taught that we do  or that we only have to be attentive at work, or in church, or at the doctor     but that is not true is it?

you can ask any child of a parent who is an elder at a church about how that elder is at home  you can ask any wife of a city council star or political hopeful if they are kind and thoughtful at the end of the day behind closed doors when they think no one is watching, or you can ask your local s&r cashier

when I was little i wanted to make a difference   so I became a doctor   and I made a difference  but like John Lennon who said that life is what happens when you are busy making other plans life happened to me and now I am a cashier  because I fell and crushed my ability to work as a doctor but that fall relatives did not crush my sense of humanity or self respect

it made it raw  it made it even more necessary for me to maintain that respect on the field of humanity when I leave my house every day

after the week I have had at the store, and given todays big day, I have two choices: to show up and play to win or to quit the team    well relatives like those boys who are suiting up today I didn't get this far just to stumble on the goal line

no one wants to go to work and get hacked up, or have their sense of public respect carved away, no one wants to come home and try to stitch themselves back together after some person who hates their life has just taken that hate out on them because they thought that it didn't matter because it is just a gas station and whoever it was that they just mowed over and left like a pile of disregarded Mac Donalds wrappers without a second thought is just a cashier at a gas station

 I know me and I know that I don't quit, the other thing that I know about me is that it is important to me to seek compassion for the knife wielding patrons of our humanity who whether intentionally or unintentionally go through life slashing others with their own angst  why not because I am noble, but because it is my life too and I want my life   and unlike those boys on the field today I get to ask the folks in the stands to participate in the game  because after all its their lives hanging in the balance

so my Super Bowl is this  it is this letter to you and to humanity and like those defensive line men who are going to do everything they can to keep the opposing team from scoring I am going to try today to win one for the Gipper  to win for my team

those guys on the field today have studied tapes of their opponents they know the patterns of loss as well as they know the patterns of success  and at the gas station relatives there is a pattern of defeat as well as a pattern of success  our job is not about whether or not we can get those who come in to actually pay for what they take it is deeper it is much more simple  it is about holding the line so that the pattern of respect with which we create our world wins the day

if you want to create a world where when you get home you are greeted by self respect, love, thoughtfulness towards our environment, spiritual equanimity, world peace, and kindness, fairness; I suggest relatives that you study the lives of those who are cashiers at your local s&r rather than continuing to seek out the Dali Lama or the local pastor, or the next sacred text

because the real world isn't "out there", its on the front line of the life of a cashier. it is here at your local s&r where we are losing our battle for world peace.  we are losing because there is a relentless wearing down of self respect within the minds and hearts of these people who give their lives every day so that they can live. It is in that store where you can kick the field goal that will win the game.  how do I know that? because I have watched the game of creation lose ground inch by precious inch over the past few months. How we treat others and ourselves eventually is how they will treat themselves and you.

what I have noticed is that the longer people work at the s&r the less they are likely to ask customers to abide by the rules of common human respect the less likely they will respect each other or the rules of life's engagement. why? because like those football players whose lives are spent like nickels for gum as they take hit after hit after hit for our enjoyment, those cashiers sense of right and wrong, self respect, and integrity take hits all day long while they try to hold the line of honesty and common decency.
and all day long interspersed between the clean play are the dirty bastards who can't see the trophy for the goal line.  they think that they can come in the store and for one moment or ten minutes suspend the rules of the game, and tear the place apart.  Im not talking about the guys who come in with uzis and masks and destroy it  I'm talking about what is much worse than that.  Im talking about the wearing away by the little worms who eat through the wood of our day leaving behind their piles of poop and a hole through their own self respect.
how do they do it? by eating doughnuts right out of the case, by telling inappropriate sexual jokes to the cashier while they are ringing up a coke and smoke, by spreading gossip like acid, by lashing out at a cashier who reminds them to use the tongs or a paper to get doughnuts rather than over and over licked fingers, by slipping something into a pocket when you think no one is looking, or by violently throwing a tantrum in the face of a cashier who doesn't happen to give a quarter rather than pennies nickels and dimes just because you wanted it that way

there is violence that comes in the door of the s&r and it is not always in the form of a mask and gun   in fact more commonly it is in the form of a violent disregard of respect towards the man or woman who is or has been placed in charge of the store, its contents, the rules of etiquette in that store, its cleanliness, and of course the accurate exchange and guardianship of the money that comes in stays and then goes out

yes it is violence and it impacts all of us just as hard as a lineman crushing a quarterback

how do I know this?  because I have seen people come in and eat doughnuts right out of the case without paying for them, I have listened to people rail at the cook for not having the right type of pizza hot and ready when they want it, I have witnessed someone telling violent sexual jokes in front of their 4 year old who is standing there with them at the counter while the cashier is trapped in the sudden appearance of sexual abuse rearing its ugly head at the counter in the middle of giving change, I have seen someone come unglued and throw all their cash and coin at me when I didn't give them the change in the form they wanted,  I have seen kids of all ages come in and be allowed by their parents to grab, touch, tear up or take any and everything they can get their hands on  all the while the parent is acting like the store is some sort of dog park they can let their kids loose in while they take a break, i have seen teenagers whine about needing an id to by smoke, I have seen those same teenagers steal gas, steal food and rub it in the face of whoever challenged them  as if that dog park they got to rumpus around in when they were four is still a place that they can come in and shit on what ever they feel like just because it makes them feel like they like, I have had elder straight white christians on sunday tell me to shut up when i asked them to use the tongs to get doughnuts rather than their nasty, just licked, unwashed hands to fondle and select what they want from the trays of sugar they are waiting to fall into because their lives suck,

yes I know their lives suck because it is written all over them and what they are not realizing is that their lives are going to suck even more when they eat those doughnuts that have just been slathered in the violent verbal and physical disregard of the humanity that they just spread all over them

need a bath yet relatives?

and we  the people who work at these s&r's we are supposed to be polite, professional, presentable, and indestructibly resilient as we clean up after the last, and stock for the next, wave of patrons who might come in and trash not only the store but our sense of decency our sense of hope our sense of social safety or,  they might not  

those who come in next might also realize that they are guardians of life

we can't always tell you see unlike those teams on the controlled field of play today at the Super Bowl the people who come in the store don't wear the colors that publicly signify to the rest of the world what they are capable of or which team they are playing for or what goal they are willing to mow down the rest of us to get to

so those lowly, insignificant, no nothing cashiers of the s&r where you will today all across the world go to grab ice, beer, pizza, advil, chips, cigarettes, milk or what ever it is that you need to make it through the next four hours, are the guardians, caretakers, at some times janitors, some times chefs, some times accountants, some times drawers of maps, or hotel or tow truck finders, some times a bartender listening to your moment while you are on your way somewhere else, we are the team that today of all days and every day are going to help you relatives create the world in which you will wake tomorrow    

what we are not

is abused wives or husbands,   we are not trash cans for you to dump your shitty day into and then kick when we ask you not to,  we are not your children's baby sitters while you let them run amok, we are not the golden opportunity for you to publicly act out without consequence or recompense,  we are not uneducated, we are not people without feelings, we are not your servants or your whipping posts,  we are not people who need to have a degree and display it in an effort to get you to behave or have respect for our lives or your own

we are your life and believe it or not we don't want you to trash it

so today relatives once again all across America the cashiers and cooks at the myriads of s&r's will do our best to keep you, to remind you, to encourage you and to win one for the Gipper of respect.  to celebrate the victory when you are attentive to the common decency that will help you sleep well tonight and make our baths when we are done a pleasure rather than a painful reminder that we came home sliced up by someone else's negativity and selfishness

I have a degree  more than one actually  and yet it amazes me to find out that there is such a difference between how I was treated as a doctor and how I am treated as a cashier at a s&r  

as a doc I wore a white coat  as a cashier I wear black   what difference does the color make?

its just a gas station  

its just a gas station

its just a gas station

not to me its not     its my life   it may not be work that is noble   it may not be work that fixes the economy   it may not be work that saves souls or bodies   but it is work that saves my life  and I believe saves yours

so Tighten Up America

the camera is rolling the whistle is blown and you are in charge of which team wins

mb