sunny side up

Good morning Relatives

it is a perfect day here in Pipestone at the Center of the East and West Gate    

I have begun teaching Qigong at the Calumet Hotel here in pipestone   they have a fitness center in the hotel  it is small but clean and beautiful     the hotel was bought 10 months ago by a Woman from Thailand and her two daughters   they are trying to make a go of it here on the Prairie    we met on occasion before my accident I would go for breakfast once a week  I could get a huge bowl of fresh fruit and yogurt for 3.50$  it was wonderful   that is where I met them   at breakfast months ago

then it was the girls mom who showed up one day in her car  in the winter to meditate with the stone buddha outside    our doing has evolved and now they have asked me to teach / offer qigong for the hotel guests and eventually they would like to see people from town find out about it and come to class

I began this week by teaching the girls and their mom 6 of the first 18 basic forms that I follow   and we also had a class on self respect and timing    the first lesson of class is showing up

how often we all do not show up after the ah-ha moment wears off or the fantasy wears into reality or the alarm goes off and we are hugging our blanket hating to trade it for the upright motion of getting up how there are so many more reasons to not do something than there are to do it   how many of us are willing to continue to show up and teach beyond that faltering first step or third step or forteenhundreth misstep?  how many of us persevere in our own lives?

it is or has taken me a long time to see that what a teacher really does when the student is late  or does not show at all   what the teacher does is understand or attempt to look beyond the obvious and see what is there   the only thing that I can teach is self respect  self caring  self compassion and self investment  I can continue to show up and show that they are worth showing up for  to be gentle and kind persistent in the essence of recreation

how do you example the choice of reaching inside yourself and pulling your own joy  your own value out into your day?  I cannot find it in her   I can see it   I can encourage it   but I cannot reach in side her and pull it out or force it with a stick or berate it into form    there is no impetus for the flower except that which comes from the seed     it is from inside of me,   inside of her,   inside of you

I can hold the idea that it exists   that self love   I can live it openly and carefully   I can not try to force anyone into the position of feeling, understanding, or developing their own self care,  I can only publicly show that I care for me  and that I showed up because they are worth that commitment to care as well

ideas are fragile     beginning shoots are tender      sometimes camouflaged by the chaff we hide our vulnerability with like straw piled over a winter rose     hold fast relatives  to the vision of the water of the lake inside yourself   hold fast to the essence of your own soul    hold fast to that vibration of joy  tiny as a seed pearl  and strengthen it    strengthen it before you strengthen any other   seek the places in your self and your own life where you are welcome and able to grow and be steadfast  find yourself and build yourself morning by morning until you have yourself and know your own worth there is no other thing that is worth doing for the world or your family or any other living or non living thing

which may sound narcissistic  LOL  but it is only when I see that I am worth getting up for  early when the sky is just waking up   when i see and understand that I am worth it   and that my act of getting up and doing the chores  loving the dogs and the mangy old cat  and then going to teach qigong is for me  for my own value in my day   that I am worth getting up for    that by doing what I said i would and making the effort  giving the gift of care followthrough and being on time  that I have added to my own joy about myself  

if there is one thing that these girls need to know is that they are worth it   they are worth getting up for    the task they have undertaken by coming to straight white america conservative old school cowboys and indians town is that they are right in the middle of a seed patch that is resistant to change   a crop of people so invested in perpetrating their own strain that they see any diversity as an invasive weed and do their best to stamp it out    these girls have already talked about the unwelcomness they found here and how that conservative fear,  piled on top of the huge undertaking they are in the midst of with the hotel is becoming overwhelming  

 they are slipping relatives   their hearts are flagging    strengthen them relatives  by strengthening yourself    build a better world in your own house and home and body so that they can see and feel that encouragement  

these girls are young they are naive but they are sturdy  and they can grow if encouraged

 it is an amazing thing to live in a small town   it is the same as a big city but everything is more readily visible so immediately felt
  but  on the other hand like the wall of an eggshell which to the egg white and yolk inside seems so rigid and so strong and so unbreakable   it is thin   the wall of the old school here is thin   it is breakable  it is only one layer again and again perhaps but not mountains on mountains

  these girls and their mother  hold them in your heart relatives  encourage them by living your joy  by committing to you first thing  every day     first thing  give the morning to yourself and the day to the girls   like giving the love and care of the night sky to the children at Lame Deer  every night we say our prayers and hold them in the care of the positivity that you made in your day

every day we weave the blanket that covers the night sky and influences the children in the night   it is the same in the first light of morning    when we get up and stand up for our own selves  for our own joy and care and strength  then we have begun the day and set the tone and it will ring out across into every water vibratory thing that is present in this earth

Dr Emoto  set about to discover the essence of water   the scientific proof that our won vibration can change the molecular form of water    what can come from that can come from you relatives  inside of you is the water that will eventually be drunk by every living thing on this earth    if you align the vibration of your won water inside of you each morning then that water will carry that memory out  into the world  and like the Lake it will eventually recycle through the lives of every living thing

these girls need to hear you ring out for you just like the children at Lame Deer need that vote of care and commitment to protection as night descends the vibration of self care and love every morning

so we are teaching qigong   and doing our best to remind them that they are worth it
that if only one thing at the beginning of the day is set in the firm footing of love  of commitment  if one thing is steadfast in that ode to joy   then the day is won    the town is defenseless  the world is changed  and that willingness to  bring care and responsibility and hard work to life is a little bit steadier in these girls

the only way that they can live is if they have the space to do it   to take that space here on the Prairie means more than recognizing what was, it takes more than rooting out the old,  it takes replacing it with the extraordinary beauty of ordinary joy of life, the shining gold of the seed of life that awakens each morning with the sun

yesterday in the late afternoon I heard the squeal of a cars brakes and the impact of a crash  it was quickly followed by the sound of emergency vehicles making their way across town to the encounter     I was astounded    I realized that it was the first accident that I was aware of happening since I moved here a year ago June     the first crash     I live in a town where car accidents are as infrequent as winning lottery tickets  

I wonder if the vibration of change of the qigong has unsettled things just enough where the perspective of the usual shifted enough that it generated a crash   a release of the tension between what was and what now is  

enjoy your morning eggs  relatives  enjoy the crack of the shell

its funny that inside that shell   that rigid barrier is the sunny side up   it all depends on how you cook it

love love love
mary