we are sliding into fall without really ever stopping at summer here in Pipestone or so it seems
its a cool rainy day today
I watched an excellent movie last night by the way its great to check movies out from the library it must be a small town thing but our library has access to so much and it is free or rather tax dollars doing excellent work the movie was "Barney's Version" with Sam Giamatti and Rosamund Pike excellent film
much better resource management than buying for me and then having
I finally had a garage sale and got rid of much then donated much to the local thrift store and am still selling things I don't need any longer its funny how my mind has evolved and the need to have or own lessened I see that as a sign of progress rather than what it could possibly be which is a sign of declining but ok with it income and less energy than previously
either way I am good with it
I got to spend a goodly part of last weekend with some aussie folks not folks from down under but people who dedicate a significant part of their income lives and interests and emotional investment in to Austrailian shepherd dogs training dogs for agility, herding, conformation and obedience they had a trails and I watched dogs and owners attempt and succeed at herding ducks, sheep and cows it was something, then I watched these working dogs show in conformation and obedience which was an amazing thing to see how full of trust dogs are I watched dogs look at their person and their people and even rent a holder people like me with loyalty and affection that could not be swayed
it had been ages since if ever I have been amongst a group of beings that had so much trust and affection so evident between them and such willingness to please not out of fear, or greed, or manipulation or thought of gain just simply out of because it makes me happy to make you happy
it was an excellent trade between hearts and minds
 |
| Wicket |
I have owned an austrailian shepherd dog one or two and now three since my first year in veterinary school I have had the privilege of being a companion of dogs visited with them cared for them made mistakes with them and eventually now that I am older and capable of a different deeper perspective understood them in a new way over and over again since I was a little girl
as a veterinarian I had the privilege of meeting, working on and enjoying many many dogs but I have to say I am an aussie girl all the way they are extraordinary these dogs
they are kind unfailingly they are loyal to the death and beyond they are soft and in need of gentle guidance yet they are tough as nails and withstand horrific abuse either at the hands of an ignorant owner/trainer or idiots who are evil, or trauma of surprises accidents or unexpected standing in the way of harm for their person or people and they will come back willing to try again my dogs have never been crabby with me even though there have been days when i have been crabby with them and with life in general it's amazing really to think that love and relationship really can survive life and what we don't know yet and may never understand or fail to translate well if at all
my heart has stayed in the game relatives because of these dogs last week I saw a second neurologist in physical medicine and rehab about my left shoulder and after reviewing from the beginning all the trauma I have been through in the past two years he had a shocked look on his face as he said to me Dr Brown, this is like watching a horror movie and you are starring in it. he could not believe that I survived and am still pleasant and trying my best to go at life one more time he was amazed I got off the floor when I fell and was crushed or that I did not descend into drug addled pain free life when my immune system finally said "enough!" and had a systemic reaction to more trauma and set off a persistent neuritis in my left upper quadrant
why did I get up? because of my dogs why do I return again and again to love, and kindness and humor and joy because of my dogs because one look at that trusting happy face (s) looking back at me and I know that I am not alone, I am simply and unreservedly loved deeply and with every fiber of their four-legged bodies not bad eh relatives not bad at all
now before you go off and get an aussie from your local ad or breeder or rescue know that they are dogs that demand excellence from their owners they demand that you have discernment that you be an alpha person and that you be firm without being cruel or heavy handed friendly without being crazy dangerous and fair always they work cattle by the simple idea of "ok, did that now what's next?" which is a good way to handle correction, adversity, windfalls, mistakes, and the now moment hmm perhaps buddhists come back as aussies? for me being an aussie owner is like being a normal person who is willing to pay attention, learn from my mistakes, seek out and enjoy life with a companion and get up when i fall down and a hand reaching out to steady or reorient comfort or partner up to see what can be accomplished together yet be totally thrilled with individual majesty kind of like I thought humans were supposed to be about each other
they are also not dogs to just have and put on a shelf they are working dogs that are quite satisfied to have that work mean they pick up and hand you your jeans and t-shirt off the floor every morning like my dog marshall does for me they just want to be an active part of their persons life and they are worth it they are amazing whole enchilada companions
 |
| Marshall ready to hand over pants and T |
so I've decided to let my life go to the dogs why because I know that they will solidly and without any accruing debt on my part karmic or otherwise love me through my own learning curve in what remains of my amazing life
my therapist asked me when was the last time I felt emotional attachment to a human being and immediately tears came to my eyes as I recalled my sister dying and my dad driving me away from the family for the last time before they succeeded in killing me and landing themselves in jail its been a long long time since I trusted people with my heart way long since I had a girlfriend and my doc says I am primarily task oriented but we think I am beginning to have the impetus to learn to balance that tasking with emotion which means healing and watching these dogs and their companions I see a balance between work and love
I think my dogs will help me learn to rebalance and heal that part of me and someday I will find that I am willing to risk emotional loss for gain with a person that would be nice
best to you this fine rainy day relatives
mary
 |
| Diamondaire Dragon Warrior "PO" my boy |
